drowned dance

We were walking down the marble path,
on a bright and cloudless day
Whispering stories of past lives,
remembering and giggling at simple words like acorn
How lovely to feel so at ease,
around another.
Until the sky darkened, tones hushed,
and the smell of rain was in the air.
Our steps became wobbled and our laugher
caught in our throats.
Sometimes you continue on dancing in the rain,
and other times you drown in a moment. 

You are there.

I see you in this musty diner,
sitting across from me on the weathered and
worn-in earthy booth. You sit there
staring at the menu, trying to pick a dish,
when we both know you won't venture
away from your favorite, your "go-to",
your security in a world of not's.
Your subtle smirk tells me, I am right.

I feel you there next to me,
as we get lost in conversations about lasting impressions,
string theory and who's on first.
I see the spark on your tongue as the words
bellow from your gut.
I can feel your breath on my cheek
as you dust your lips on mine.
and your pearlescent blue eyes
are absorbing my whole essence
in this moment.

I watch you go to the jukebox,
like a kid in a candy store,
its hard for you to just pick one.
As you grab my hand for a pre-dinner dance
I can smell blackberry and vanilla, your scent,
waft through the air. Your entire being
dances with laughter and ignites my own
giggles of pure ecstasy.

For, as much as I feel you,
you have never been here.
They don't even serve your "go-to" dish.
I can't really see you because
your body is caressed by the Earth and
hugging the tombstone, we laid you under.
And all I smell is pie, when I am really
wishing it was you again.
Wishing I had more than a
glimpse of what might have been.

Yet, here, you are not.
I only wish you could be here on a
Tuesday evening with me.
Wishing that that car didn't
dive into yours, that you didn't
careen with the tree,
Wishing the doctors were wrong.
Wishing you could just be here with me.

never-endings and un-beginnings

She's been beaten by possibilities,
Even tortured in a world of happily-ever after's
She's been brainwashed with beauty
She is worthlessly lost in hope of contention.
She's been splintered by reality
and erased from a life of un-beginnings.

She's been fighting the despair,
kicking against opposition and
screaming toward her conclusion.
She's been saved by cowardice
rescued by grubby chaos
and shone brightest in arrogance

Giving her life a new page of conquests
to derail her and a new set of
rejections riddled in promises to save the broken from
the past and deliver a message to the forgotten's:
Sometimes the positives are choking
and you can find salvation in defeat. 

Awoke the sleeping city

She walked down the dimly lit alley
lost in a world of bakery needs,
diplomas and the world of possibilities
that a seventeen year old has.
Imaginations of future plans on the cusp
of her thoughts when the driver
slows down and a mask jumps out.
As his dark hair sauntered up to her shadow,
he took it upon himself to take her
simplistic life and darken it with
unwanted desire as he
careened into her body,
tossing loose her soul.
Giving her legs a final, lasting break
from walking and her heart
moments lost in a stammer.
Her lips awoke the sleeping city as
her scream shattered dreams and her cry
catapulted from the depths of despair.
For time withered away the hurtful memories,
but her dreams have kept them alive.
She has learned to live with a yearning
for death as that would end
the sleepless nights that haunt her,
it would stop the chair from confining her
and her future could still be hers. 

Take more than you need

On the blades of glistening grass,
She wore a metallic crimson dress
hiding her scheme and somehow
accenting each glimmer of her beauty.

With a wrench and a tug,
she stole the clouds from
the electric night sky
as the winds wailed against the grass

With a jolt and a jerk
She grabbed the moon as
the stars screamed for reason
in a endless, lonely sky.

With a yank and a pull,
She snatched up the grass
from the earth and watched
the beauty of the world fade.

Her dress shimmered with an
opaque mystery and it glowed in
the light of the stars as it expressed
such a grace, like the
estate moved under her feet.

She couldn't share with the world,
in fear of not being enough.
And she had taken more than she needed,
just so she would never have to go without.

So the rats scoured through her life
to poke holes at her happiness
and steal away her resolve
taking her kindness into their palms.

And the roaches stayed to scratch
at her misery drenched soul.
Making her dress a bit more
beautiful than the creature underneath.

Hope moves on

Hope enamors the sidewalk with
blissful touches of serenity.
When the drip-dropping starts
It can be made to trickle in
like a heartbeat.

Dreams can kiss each blade
of grass in unity but
when the raindrops pitter-patter
in a constant beat, it lulls the
rhythm to a hush.

Desire can battle the rivers
as they stir in and get swept away
As the flood can be felt in the air
and the desires sink to the floor,
they are heard no more.

For some of the waves of words
vanish after the storm and some
expectations never become aspirations that
float out to sea, until another drizzle
is felt somewhere else in the world
and made into their own heartbeat.

impossibility

We find as we drift through life, that the impossible tends to stay impossible. For a brief instant, in the held breath of the world, sometimes the possible takes over.

Before the moment of longing the oceans escape, the land drifts away and nothing will ever be as complete again.

Right on the verge of everything. In the beginning of times, and the end of nothing. The world was met with emotion. The land was met with rage and before the moment of longing, the ocean escapes. The air screamed out in pain. All had to learn how to meld into one, how to allow each to react, to feel, to be. While still being one with themselves.

Streets of Summer

In the streets of summer the leaves rejoice,
The wisps of wind glitter and the rocks turn into jokers,
The acorns smile and the chestnuts giggle.
The pumpkins are jovial and the squash dance.

There is something about fall,
something about the desire to stay.
Yet the ability to fly,
something about having a chance to go
Rather than plant your wings to your sides.

There is something about fall, 
Something about the desire to stay
Yet the chance to grow,
The chance to become something you aren't
The chance to be more than you have been all year.

There is something about fall,
Something about the desire to stay,
Yet the chance to discover
a newer, crisper, chillier world around.

In the streets of summer, the party starts to fade as reality sets in.

when the shoe fits

Brrng! The cash register rang up the perfect size five white shoes as they were thrown into the bag as if shoes were as worthless as a bag of rocks.

This would be the first time that Rachel would bring home a pair of shoes for her daughter, Lizzie. She picked these white shoes over the pink ones with the little bow. Rachel wanted something meaningful... symbolic. The beginning of the new day, the beginning of forever. As white as a blank piece of paper.

Rachel brought that bag to the car and started her drive home. She wouldn't be like the other moms. She would treasure each scrap and scratch those shoes brought. She would probably kiss the floor they walked along. If they are ever used... a little voice said in the back of her mind.

Elizabeth has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and Elizabeth, or Lizzie as her mother calls her, may never walk. But Rachel wants to motivate her and to be honest, probably motivate herself some more... maybe she will beat the odds, maybe she will find a way to get around and maybe those perfect white shoes will know the feel of dirt beneath their soles.

When Rachel turned into their drive, she stopped her car and brought that bag into the house as if bringing a possible trophy... wrapped in a possible disaster. How could she explain to Phil why she went through all this trouble?

How were shoes going to help them take on the days ahead of them? How was she going to be a good mom despite what Lizzie is going through? Phil wouldn't understand. We barely have enough money to pay the rent, why waste money on a pair of shoes Lizzie will never wear?! He would argue.

But every little girl, needed a chance at a fairy tale. and those little white sneakers sat there waiting to be placed on this Cinderella's feet and walk her way into the ball.

They may have to wait in their pristine condition up on the shelf looking at the curly little brunette until one day, they were needed.

One day she must walk, Rachel thought. But each day that passed she seemed less sure of herself. Her gorgeous 2 year old wasn't even crawling. She had no desire to move and the wheelchair. Gosh, did she fight the wheelchair. It all just seems so.. confiding... so encompassing... so final.

One afternoon, Lizzie was watching The Little Mermaid when she mumbled something to Rachel. Rachel noticed Lizzie's weary smile and decided that was enough of that. Rachel looked at Lizzie and asked her if she wanted to play dress up. Rachel got out the Cinderella dress, and crown and even the perfect white shoes for Lizzie to wear. Lizzie looked gorgeous. Rachel even let Lizzie wear some of her make up to complete the show.

Then, Rachel dressed up a teddy bear to look like a prince and invited Lizzie to dance. At first, she swung the bear around in her chair. She moved her hands and watched him fly as she moved her head back and forth. But eventually she put the bear down and used her arms to lift off the wheelchair. She stood holding onto the table and yet again lifted that prince to the air. She held him close and swayed gently, just enough to feel like dancing.

Even if those shoes didn't meet dirt, they did touch the ground and at midnight, or a few minutes later in this story, Lizzie got back in her chair and back to the life she was burdened with.

But at least once, she got to dance and at least once she was a part of our world...

As Rachel went to bed that night, a tear fell slowly down her cheek. Lizzie may never have the chance to walk, but at least, her daughter knew what she was missing out on, and discovering ways to experience it... in her own Princess style.