More Writing from the Train

And it’s like we are fourteen all over again. 

None of them actually feel loved. 

They have no foundation, 

No destination 

And breathe in every temptation.

And that needle begs to the empty eyes to fill up again.

Those pills scream to the broken hearted that they can heal any and every pain.

That rope gives to the fallen something to hold onto.

That pool of water helps them fill all of their holes.

That gun gives them the power and control

With a velocity that can kill and

For the first time possibly give these lost a straight direction.

That knife being pressed against their skin

Gives them a sort of awkward comfort that can’t be patched up,

Just like their cracked mindset.

It’s a supplement they feel they don’t have.

Those weapons used to face their fears are

Meant to complete them in the only way they have life.



Don’t tell me what to believe in. I let myself open up and fall. Just to be reminded fairy tales don’t exist and you can only be prince charming through the lies. Once the magic wears off your are just as lost, distracted and useless as the last.

Go ahead, hide behind that mask baby.

You’ve been doing it all along.

No sense to share who you are with the world.

Better play me like a puppet.

 And just when, I’m reeled in you let loose.

Showing me the creature you held in for too long.

Once I saw the real you,

I needed to let go myself baby.

I’m not gonna be your doll.

You can’t move me along with whatever you do.

So while you hid behind that mask,

I caved when you pulled.

I played the puppet to perfection.

But I refuse to wear this makeup any longer.

I will not bend to help you make me break.

I will not satisfy your inhibitions

Just to give you a false comfort.

I am my own master.

The more you give into your fears,

The more you lose me.

One of these days the strings will be gone

And I will be happy on my own again.

I won’t play pretend. I gave into a world of make believe, of false promises and distant dreams of an alternate reality that only you could still believe in. imp done with this game of mushy sayings and happily ever after. Of fake smiles and forced laughter’s. Love isn’t fake and everything with you has been. And quite frankly, I am sick of playing along.

I want real. I want passion and lust. I want compliments on more than just my sexual appeal. I want someone who thinks about romantic dates and cute gestures. I want a real person full of heartbreak and memories of what it was like to fall. I want future dreams and would you rather. I want more than a possibility. I want the truth and the truth is yours is all a lie.

Please heart. Stop breaking. Stop beating. Stop caring. Stop being. Make things easy on me. Stop the hope, the pain the endless carefree love. Because that is what first love is? It’s not just your first kiss or romantic date. It’s not your first gentleman or first Armstrong. It’s your fairy tale, your very best friend. He’s the one that your heart will always beat for. And the one you never thought you be without. He’s the reason you loved life and the first person you truly trusted. He’s your everything. But mainly, he’s your pain. Your broken dream and overplayed record. He’s the reason your trust is withered and your heartbeats seem farther apart. He’s EVERY worry, every question and every possibility of a problem. He is your conscious and brain, he’s also the lock and key on your heart. Beckoning them to enter and begging to keep them away.

Look at her. She’s your goddess. You have her on a pedestal that is far beyond anyone else’s each. She’s got to have flaws. Don’t you see her imperfections? Are you ready for THAT disappointment?

Is she ready for what you are saying? You don’t realize she battles it because she wants to believe it’s a lie. She wants you to prove her wrong. Sometimes you have to let your backbone show a little. Sometimes you have to call her bluff.

Lead her. Take the first step. Go slow. She forgot what its like to go down this road. Take her hand and guide her. Get to far ahead and she will surely drown. Take it a step at a time. Let her soak it all in and enjoy it. Give her time to fall.

Its gonna be tough. Its gonna test your patience. Its gonna be a lot more wrong then right. But show her the ending she has stopped believing in and you will win her over.

Do you see that little girl? She must be four or five.

No one told her the truth her whole life.

She’s been brought up on lies of happily ever after,

Broken dreams and empty glass bottles.

The worlds been warped from the bruised arms and broken hearts.

Yet this girl still plays "he loves me, he loves me not"

Only about her very own father instead of her prince charming.

She is gonna be the strongest person you will ever know.

With her head in the clouds to escape

Her feet on the ground to maintain

And her strength around her own heart to protect.

And she’s already that way. But she’s only four or five.

Just wait.

Writing From The Train

And it’s those little things that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. But with me, it pulls and it means more than gifts ever could. It shows me that someone can genuinely care and understand that romance is powerful. It’s important and to be who you are. And that I could just possibly be happy with the kind of person you REALLY are.

Maybe my walls are a few feet too high
maybe I worry for no reason why.
Maybe I will stop expecting the worst.
Maybe things with you won’t really hurt.

Please understand that I am giving this a fighting change.
I don’t want to regret not finding out that maybe
there is such things as magic
and maybe eternal happiness is beckoning me,
just around the corner.

You are more to me than the next fling under my belt.
You remind me of exactly the kind of person that I used to be.
The one that believed in fairy tales and dreams
the one that imagined and was a kid again.
The one that knew anything was possible
and more importantly that everything were worth it.

And I don’t know if you know this
but I’ve reached the second or third
to last step of getting you out of my life
threes not many more to go
and the worst part of all of it
is that I am happy with that.

Funny how the littlest things prove to me just how worth it you are.

I am stronger than anyone ever thought.

The friends, the kids, the lack of direction, and how many warning signs did I need?
How many times did I need to pretend that they didn’t matter
that they would change, that things would get better?

Let's run away.
Lets be the couple I’ve always dreamed of being.

"Boyfriend" who would have thought that that word
the word that I believed in perfectly for six years
scared the utter crap out of me

fairy tales used to be so easy to believe in
is it possible to believe again?

And where are the breakups with liars in fairy tales?
The conman that get exposed just so the right prince can come along.
Where are the problems that lead to the happily ever after?

Maybe I can believe in love again.

E.A.S.Y.
Things haven’t been easy in my life
in a long time.
Who would have thought it could be possible

and we both have our own lives.
We both face our own problems
but we've learned that it’s a little easier
a little simpler
with someone by your side.

Please show me how to believe again
and I promise I will show you the entire world
of love through open doors and precious memories.

You are too... perfect.
You say exactly what I want to hear.
In the beginning that frightened me.
I thought I’d get bored because I knew
exactly what you were going to say.
Turns out it just keeps me hooked.

Hold my hand.
Ill brings you to a world
not even you could dream of.
Ill shows you things
you thought were impossible.
And the high you get
wont ever go away.
Love is the capability
to feel things
you never knew existed.
Its there babe
just take that deep breath
and dive in.

And its those butterflies that I just get when thinking of you

funny how when I try to plan out my life,
it backfires and every time
I leap blindly I find an even better reason to love life.

Imp petrified yet addicted.
You make me believe in worlds
that I had given up on
so, so long ago

as a child it is easy to believe in happily ever after.
Glass slippers and awakening kisses.
Its easy to think that price charming is coming for you
and that love triumphs everything
it would ever be faced against.
Its easy to believe in the magic, the romance,
and the way that everything fits perfectly.

in the beginning all love is like a child
its easy to believe
what fairy tales don’t teach you
is that it’s hard to hold on.
And once you let go
you start believing it all was a lie

but don’t suffocate the child at heart, my dear.
She has a thing or two to remind you about love.
Just know that those butterflies return,
happily ever after comes closer everyday
and the right guy will be the right fit.
Certain kisses will awaken all your sense
and your knight in shining armor will defend you
to all of his capabilities.
Love is crucial
and the magic comes back with the right romance.
My dear, fairy tales don’t lay.

Tell her she’s broken and she'll tell you she’s just a bit unglued.
Tell her she’s not strong enough and she'll tell you when the moment comes,
everyone will be shocked. Tell her she can’t go on and she'll tell you she won’t ever stop

look into her eyes. She’s begging for her fairy tale. Prove to her that prince charming will sweep her off her feet with the cutest eyes and romantic gestures. Prove to her that strangers can be lovers and that the stroke of midnight is just another beginning to the magic. Prove to her that hearts are like glass slippers and with the right person. Everything we will fit perfectly. Prove to her that she can be her Cinderella and reach a happily ever after she deserves.
Look into her smile. She’s begging for her fairy tale. Please prove to her that her intelligence can be sexy and that her heart of gold is just as fragile as your flower of life. Show her that a new environment can be petrifying but it can be a perfect fit. Prove to her that shirting secrets brings people together and that the first snowfall can be magical. Show her that the heart of music guides every dance. Show her she can be her own Beauty and teach the happily ever after she never expected.
Look into her mind. She’s begging for her fairy tale. Prove to her that kisses can awaken the soul. Show her that even when the odds are against it, you will be by her side. Prove that magic really exists and happiness isn’t just a figment of her imagination. Make her very own princess and give her the happily ever after she needs.

When I am around you I don’t stop smiling.
Tell me, can it stay this way forever?

And she’s strong enough to go on because she’s strong enough to never let go.

She’s been hurt
you never know
she’s been brainwashed
you never guess
sometimes fairytales
start in everyday life
to save the broken
from the past

and she’s holding on. Is she afraid to let go?

Has supposed to be her support system. Her protection and her guiding light.
And he always was
he was also her years, her torture and her biggest fear.

And she doesn’t want another fake goodbye.
Tell him the real reason she left.
tell him she was sick of the men in her life beating her down
and this was the only one she could get out of
tell him she realized she was holding on
for the wrong reasons and even though he hurt her
she was willing to survive.

you are everything that you hated about my past
difference is you scared my heart
rather than my skin

you’ll never know why she really left
just like he will never know
how much he screwed her up

I can’t rely on you
even if I wanted to
you are just another question mark
that might be out to destroy me

you made us like this. I didn’t realize this until today. You made the baby hate the world. You showed her how wrong life could be. You made the picture perfect life attitude consume her. Because if there was one thing wrong in the world, then that meant you were too. You made her blame herself for all the problems in her world. Because if it was her fault, if she deserved it. Then you weren’t the bad guy... she was. You made us all like this.

You’ve made me HATE you.
You’ve made me give up.
You made me scared to love.
You made me scared to dream.
You’ve made this world of light and magic
burn out and crumble to the ground.
And I don’t know which pieces to put back together.
You’ve corrupted me.

I don’t want to need to be fixed.
I just want to walk in the right direction once.

Imp falling for you.
Those cute dimples and gorgeous eyes.
The believe in magic and positive attitudes.
The way you believe in me and care about me.
Imp falling for the indecisive romantic
and the kid loving dreamer.
Imp falling for you. All of you.
Baby, I can’t believe I am falling.