Oh Dam!

There was once a Dam that created the world. He made itself hold back all the Oceans and all of the Rivers so that Land could stay dry. Dam built up its walls with sticks and stones and anything that would fill. He decided to save the land and he did this for hundreds of thousands of years. Dam was proud at the life he has helped create.

He heard the cute little bunnies jumping for joy and the way the trees whispered in the breeze. He heard the birds speak songs of love and strength. And Land soaked in the sun and breathed, thanks to Dam. Dam had given so much for this world. It was necessary and the animals and land couldn't imagine a life without it.  

But the shrieking Waters had other plans. The Oceans wailed as they tumbled, bumped and shoved onward, forcing Dam to stand tall. The roaring Rivers tried to push that Dam down, tried to break him. And little by little the Dam notices these unseen holes, the Waters created. As the Waters slips out, the Dam heard the cries of the flaws. 

His flaws

Drip. You are nothing.

Drip. I will reach Land.

Drip. You are broken.

Drip. You won't last.

Gush. I will win this war. You will become lonely logs once more. You are dead to us. And crippling cracks of Waters laughed. 

The Dam sees what once was a single, lonely drop turned into a rushing stream. The dam quivers with fear. Yes, the Waters bellow. You have failed.

The next crack screams. I have beat you down.

After years of these drips and drops and storms emerging into the land, Dam begins to believe all that was said. Maybe he was just supposed to be logs. Maybe there was no way he could win. These thoughts bring him down, and he sinks with the weight of his little world on his chest. Only letting more water splash over the top as it mocks the dam. You are nothing.

The Land starts to soften. It's breath choking on the drops but fighting for another day. The animals silence in fear. They refuse to play, refuse to jump, refuse to be. They just seem to stand and hide as they worry. Dam was confused. How could this happen? I did all I could do. I fought once before, I won already. How is it that now? Now the waters are taking it back? 

The dam didn't know. 

As the years go by and more cracks spring up. The Dam continues to fret about this constant battle. It is looking like defeat. 

As the Land watched the water seep into its lungs, it coughed and it quaked with worry. Land started drowning, with all the Waters that Dam was letting in. When the Waters got too high, Land reached out to the Dam.

With the Land's last breaths, it whispered to the Dam. "Don't give up. Look how high you still stand. You have made a stand and held it for all these years. So patch yourself up, wipe yourself off and fight back. You have saved lives once, you have conquered the world. And after all these years... YOU haven't fallen. You are still making a stand. Still holding true. You can continue to fight." Land went silent as it was deafened by the Waters cheers.

But Dam was still confused. He has been listening to the Rivers for so long, he forgot about the Land on his right. He listens as the Oceans tried to push him and heaved to a stop. Dam reaches out to Land, wanting advice. But Land was already drowning in sorrow. So Dam reached in and grabbed up  some pasty mud and begins filling in those shrieking cracks. It grabs on and plugs those sizzling holes. 

As the Dam listened to the water, it found the only water speaking was the ones that were getting away. But there was still a whole ocean waiting to break through. Only the weak break down. Only the weak become logs. Only the weak give up to the water. And the dam knew he wasn't weak. He had years of success. Years of acceptance and he knew the beauty it helped create. 

Finally, the Dam decided to make a stronger stand. The dam strengthened its walls, hole by hole, crack by crack. It grabbed the liquid land and formed it into those holes. The animals peeked out of their hidden homes and saw what was happened. The Waters weren't coming in, quite as strong. The Dam was fighting back, and the animals ran to  help. And as each whole was filled, the water muffled. 

As the Dam took more mud from Land, it found that Land started to dry and the beautiful animals fought through to remain where they were. The animals jumped as they worked. Spoke as they harbored and whispered this story as they went. They cheered as they filled and the Land slowly began to breath again. Dam learned that he could save his little world, just by saving himself. 

And to this day, the beavers jump and whisper and work as they honor Dam by building their own and using the liquid land to fill up their own holes and cracks, knowing that if it worked before, it could always handle another battle against those pesky Waters.

European Bucketlist

(updated Jan 2017) I never expected to be a world traveler. If asked growing up if I would like to travel of course I said yes. But at the time, I didn't know what that would mean. I didn't think i would live in Japan and experience such a traditional and unique culture. I didn't think I could love a country more than the country I was from. And I never expected to go to the lands of my ancestors, my Italian heritage and be hours from the lands that my family came from. I never expected to live this kind of life.

But so far I have lived in some wonderful places and in June, I join another to the ranks: Naples. 

I couldn't be more excited about going to Europe next. There is sooo much to do, so much to see! I want to get as excited for Europe as I should be! Not worrying about the PCS, the traveling, the work before and until then! I want to get ready for the next trip of a lifetime! 

My Italian Bucket list 

1) Take a gondola ride in Venice

2) Kiss my husband under the moonlight in the Cinque Terre
3) Watching the sunset off the Amalfi coast
4) a night at the top of the Pavone castle
5) Sail into a bay in Sardinia 
6) Breakfast on the terrace at the Amalfi grand hotel (We did lunch! works for me)
7) Drive an open-top Ferrari
8) ride a scooter

9) Attend an opera under the stars at the Roman arena in Verona
10) Make lasting Italian friends
11) Find my family (or the land that once was my fatherland)
12) Get invited to lunch with a farming family
13) Live one day and/or evening in a piazza
14)Have breakfast at the bar
15) People watch in Italy
16) Join in at the Venice Carnival 
17) Eat real pizza in Naples
18) Eat a real cannoli in Sicily
19) Horseback ride up Mt. Vesuvius
20) Spend an entire day in Pompeii
21) Go to Capri
22) Go to Tuscany

23) See the Vatican
24) Go into the Catacombs
25) Go into the Naples Undergrounds
26) Try Gelato
27) Drink wine in Tuscany
28) Learn Italian (slightly)
29) Take Italian Classes
30) Explore Sicily
31) See Michelangelo's frescos in the sistine chapel
32) Join in Ivrea
33) Attend an Italian soccer game
34) Go to Open Baladin, a bar in Rome
35) Go skiing
36) Go ziplining
37) Go through the Roman Forum
38) Take a train
39) Drink from a water fountain
40) Stay at a B&B
41) Make a wish in Trevi fountain

42) See the Pope
43) Take a picture of the Guards
44) Get a hand-drawn painting (ceramic)
45) Walk around the Trastevere district.
46) Bottle your own wine in Tuscany
47) Stomp wine
48)  Post a letter on Juliet's wall and visit Verona, Italy
49) Boat in the Blue Grotto
50) Visit a castle
51) Sicily: See the mosaics at Villa Romana del Casale
52) Siena, Italy: Attend the medieval-era Palio horse race
53) Put hands in the Mouth of Truth, Rome

54) Visit the Mona Lisa

55) Go shopping in Milan
56) Learn how to Scuba Dive
57) Scuba in the Mediterranean 

58) Create and follow my own walking tour (I found an app for that)
59)Find cannoli's closest to ours
60) Learn how to harvest my own fruits (Plum season is over, Peaches are next!)
61) Go to a nude beach
62) Visit the leaning tower of Pisa

The rest of Europe Bucketlist. To be honest I don't even know where to begin, I want to see it all. As much as I can! Here are just a few I found online:

63) Go to Barcelona, Spain 
64) Connect with my college friends from this side of the world!
65) Go to Spain and connect with my Misawa friends
66) Barcelona: Go on a tapas crawl
67) eat paella



68) Go to Germany and connect with my Misawa friends
69) Go see Auschwitz
70) Go to Oktoberfest
71) Drive Germany's Romantic Road

72) Go to Ireland, Dublin buy some beers
73) Dance in an Irish pub
74) Kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland

75) Go to Paris
76) Have a 7 course meal in France
77) French kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower
78) picnic in Versailles France
79) eat macaroons

80) Visit the Mona Lisa

81) Go to London
82) Have tea in London
83) See Parlament
84) See Big Ben
85) Watch a soccer game in Manchester


86) See the Colosseum
87) Go to the world's oldest amusement park

88) Go to Greece
89) Visit Athens: View the Parthenon
90) Visit Crete
91) the church of Paraportiani, Mykonos island Greece.
92) Temple of Olympian Zeus, Greece


93) Visit Portugal
94)  See the little mermaid, Copenhagen
95) Visit the Tulips in Amstradam
96) Tour the Plitvice Lakes in Croatia
97) take a dip in the blue lagoon, Iceland
98) Go to the devil valley
99) Hike the Sabin mountains, Latium

 Added in Oct: 
100) Go to Geneva Switzerland
101) Sit on the longest bench
102) See the Jet d'Eau
103) Go up in a cable car up a mountain
104) See a play at the Globe
105) Go to Prague
106) Take part in a festival
107) Go to an Italian wedding (or Romanian)
108) Go to Budapest
109) Eat a Trdelnik (or a Prochaska) Kurtoskalacs
110) Eat Weiner Shnizle 
111) Eat Apple Streusel
112) See the house of terror
113) See a concentration camp
114) See an orchestra in Prague
115) Go on a beer bike
116) Go to Amsterdam
117) Go to the greek islands
118) Go on a boating adventure in the Med
119) Go to Norway
120) Go to Brussels
121) Travel everywhere!

Updated: Japan Bucketlist

I am leaving in less than 2 months. This home away from home has been eye opening. I have made lifelong friends and I have met people who made me a better person. There are places I will never forget, lessons that are etched into my heart and experiences that made me stronger.

When I first moved to Japan, I created a bucketlist. Some of the crazy, very Japanese things I hoped to accomplish while I was here. Now its time to see which of those I have accomplished.

1. See Shinjuku Gyoen. Get lost in nature.
2. Go to an Art Museum.
3. Try clothes on in Japan (Just how small can they be?)
4. Make Sushi
5. Go to a waterpark.
6. Go to Tokyo Disneyland
7. Climb to the top of Mt. Fuji.
8. Sing in a karaoke bar!
9. Do ‘hanami’ (cherry blossom viewing) while in Japan.
10. Stay in a ryokan.
11. Visit the Imperial Palace in Tokyo.
12. Go up the Tokyo Tower.
13. Go to a local izakaya. (Dream Bar! Loved it!)
14. Participate in Aomori’s Neputa festival.
15. Visit the Sannai Maruyama site in Aomori.
16. Visit Gappo Park in Aomori.
17. Go up APSAM in Aomori and take an awesome photo of the skyline!
18. Get photos of the cosplayers on Harajuku Bridge. (I did this one half way. I did see Cosplayers but not in Harajuku, I saw them at comiket!)
19. Visit Kabukicho (Tokyo’s red light district).
20. Buy a yukata or kimono.
21. Ride the Yamanote line.
22. Explore Tokyo Narita Airport.
23. Find a really, really interesting toilet.
24. Get a photo in the cherry blossoms.
25. Drink Sake.
26. Drink Chu-Hi.
27. Buy/rent a bicycle
28. Visit Aomori.
29. Visit Hachinohe.
30. Visit Towada
31. Visit Sapporo, land of the beers.
32. Make a lasting friend.
33. Befriend the wildlife.
34. Teach a lesson.
35. Ring a shrine bell and pray.
36. Try a weird flavour of Kit-Kat. (I hear there’s lemonade, watermelon, green tea)
37. Participate in a tea ceremony.
38. Visit Meiji Shrine.
39. Visit a cat cafe
40. Go to a Pokemon Center!
41. Go to Universal Studios.
42. Ride a shinkansen (bullet train).
43. Play Pachinko.
44. Learn how to drive out here.
45. Get a job so I can stay longer and accomplish all of these things.
46. Try all sorts of weird foods
47. Try Japanese Ramen
48. Get in better shape.
49. Go to Sapporo Festival
50. Go to the Nebuta Festival
51. Go to Cherry Blossom Festival
52. Watch a Japanese Baseball game.
53. Go to the Misawa Festivals

I only didn't make it to 11. The one I regret the most is Mt. Fuji. I really wanted to climb that. Maybe I can make a trip there before I go but I doubt it. Besides we are off to Naples, Italy next! Where I will have a longer list and another Mountain I can climb! 

Chopping the lines down.

Do you remember reading in elementary school? Kinder, first, and second.

This is a cat.

The cat can jump.

The cat can crawl.

Oh no! The cat finds a mouse.

The mouse ran away.

Read. Rinse. Repeat.

Stories were easy but god were they boring. Who cares how to read when this is what you are forced to look at?

For me, it changed in third grade. Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. It was the first book I ever read that transported me somewhere new. All of a sudden I wasn't reading about a cat but I was a boy deserted and alone. I got lost on the pages and I couldn't find a way to safety. My heart raced, my eyes widened. Was I going to die?

Reading is so much more than looking at the words on the page. But it is about finding a connection. Fearing for your life, losing your love, igniting something inside of you, you never even dreamed of before.

Reading can transport you somewhere knew, think thoughts you never had and create emotions you never would have felt.

The first book that did that was a happy one. I thought they all would be from then on. They weren't. On those manila pages, I lost a father, a brother, a best friend, a lover. I ran away and was a thief, I was the savior and the villian. The saint and the poor. I was the child, the parent, and so much more. I lived a thousand lives in those stories and I have a thousand more to live.

But none opened my eyes as much as the first book ever did. The words transformed from lines on a page to a world I never knew existed.

broken glasses

 It was a typical Saturday afternoon, Ily went shopping to her favorite discount store. The building seemed to be silent as she walked around listening to her Ipod. She searched the racks and pummeled through the store. Payday was yesterday and her eyes were on the prize. She had been working so hard, she had been through so much. She grabbed some makeup, clothes and a couple pairs of glasses. She looked at a brown and black pair. The brown made her face hide and shaped her cheeks nicely. The other looked sharp and gave her an edge. She grabbed them both and headed towards the fitting room with some clothes in her hand.

She tried on the clothes, deciding which new outfits she wanted. She looked at her purchase. Spending 120 dollars was insane in just one day, she thought. I don't have this kind of money to waste. She wanted to believe. I deserve a break she thought as she broke the security tag. Her heart started racing. She didn't even dream of getting caught. She was hiding in a place no cameras could be found. Pay for one, pocket the other. They can't see anyway and its only one little item. They won't miss it.  she thought. It wouldn't be the first time she took something. Candy off the shelves and lipstick from the store. This is roughly the same size and worth a whole lot more.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Corporations don't need that $20 like I do. This store won't notice what they lost until I am gone. One last sharp push and into her purse the glasses drown.

She heads towards the register. The register gets a phone call "One... Just one." is all she hears them say. Are they on to her? If so, is it too late? It's probably nothing. She smiles and pays.

As she leaves the store, she's in her own little world. Freedom. Sunshine. I deserve the break, she thought. The adrenaline was intensifying. She made it and walked towards her car.

Out of no where and somewhere deep behind her. She hears an "Excuse me, Miss?" Ily spun around with a heart sinking jolt. She knew as the nerves and the tears come.

This is the end of freedom and the beginning of the box. All for $20 she could have afforded, all because she broke.  

I will show you the world

If you could travel to any place in the world that you have not been, has a culture you know nothing about, the land is unknown to you and what the people like, would you live there? Where is it?


If I had to pick a place that I didn't know anything about landscape, culture, or interests, I don't think I'd know the name of it either. I don't think I know a place that exists if I don't know any of that information about it. So if that is the question than I chose to look through a world map and find a country I know nothing about.

So let's narrow it down. I would mostly want a safe place but as I don't know what kind of place it will be I will probably follow some categories such as if the neighboring countries are very well known for war than I will not choose it. I would want a warm place, so I will look near the middle of the map. Not the equator persay because I don't want it hot necessarily. But I would look into the middle third of the map lets say.

Starting in Europe: Because for some reason Europe feels very enticing I would feel compelled to start there. Plus if I don't like it at least I will have the opportunity to visit a lot of other places.

First things first, being a teacher I want to visit Finland becasue I want to teach there. Finland is supposed to have the best education system in the world and I would love to see what that looks like. (I don't know if that qualifies as I know too much about it)

I believe Switzerland is the country that stays pretty war free and that makes it safe plus it is next to Italy.

Australia sounds interesting to visit and see what life would be like there. New Zealand and any of the Oceania countries are of interest to me.

If I have to base my ideas off just names without paying attention to war and other things. I like the names Togo, Cyprus, Macedonia.

I had a friend in 5th grade who came from Equador, he was nice so maybe I would like to live there. That is judging a whole country off a person.



So I took it one level further and found a map that I could throw a pretend dart at and decide if I would live there. First I landed on the Alaska- Canada border and although I don't know much extra about those places, the cold defers me. I would live there if I had to but not if I wanted to. Next up was northern Russia, same thing, too cold. And last was Moxico, Angola in Africa and out of those three I would choose that one.


Taking it even another step further and looking at places Mike and I could potentially be stationed at. I would not want to go to: Alaska, Djibouti, Oman, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia Cuba, Qatar and Bahrain. However, that being said I know all of these by name. Not necessarily by culture. I know more about the ones I would choose with their culture. So does culture mean more to me than I originally thought? I assume so but that's with stations I want to go to. I don't need to put myself in danger just to be with Mike. I would rather do long distance again than go to these unsafe and bitter cold areas.

Regretted Futures

If you could talk to your future self and ask for guidance what would you ask for?

Regret. What in my life will I regret? It is so easy to be swept away by the positives that sometimes you need to reel yourself back in. I have been out of the country for 3 years. Did I ruin my relationships? I will be out another 3. Will I miss the important birthdays, Christmas' and weddings that make a difference? Am I missing out on relationships with the people I love? Will I regret being a military spouse? Will I regret waiting to have kids? Will my family know my kids? Will I regret becoming a teacher?

Moving to Italy, Getting married, these are exciting worthwhile things! It sounds wonderful! BUT what am I trading for these experiences? My relationships take a toll and will it ever be not worth the cost?


So dear knowledgeable future self,

Is traveling the world worth missing out on so much? Will I still have the same friends and family when I return? Will I ever return? Or could I regret this life I have chose to live?