Random Writing

as she walked into the bar, she took her normal seat. the bartender gave her one look with a half smirk of a smile. she was staring at the table, her hair reflecting in the lights. giving her an aura of depression. as she looked up at him, she asked for her usual. she didnt realize that she wasn't alone.
he walked up to her, patted her shoulder and asked if she needed a friend to listen.
she told him that she doesn't want to dampen his mood and she doesnt want hers to become a reality. he told her, he needed to escape his reality.
"you look heartbroken, miss."
"you don't know the half of it." He looked into her eyes and saw all of the pain, the torture and the problems.
"someone as pretty as you should hurt so bad." she laughed at this remark.
"someone as pretty as me shouldnt have loved so much."
"do you really believe that?"
"is there anything else to believe?"
"you need to pick your head up, enjoy life and let your prince find you".
"i need to complete this story in my own way. who needs to wait for a price that will never come?"
"i bet that you used to believe in fairytales"
"thats before i was heartbroken. what does it matter? all i have learned is that boys use you and that one in a million can stay in love. and no matter what you do, sometimes its just not enough"
"are you sure you tried everything?"
"everything is an understatement. and im still not worth it to that, fool".
"fool he is to give up you."
"fool he is to give up on love."
and she downed her martini as if it was water. he knew better than try to lift her up, but maybe just maybe she was what he wanted. maybe depression wasnt the problem, maybe it was the fact that he felt for her. he knew that look, because that was all that stared back at him from the mirror for months.
"so will that drink really help you miss?"
"more than taking life on sober"
"maybe i can help more than that drink can"
"maybe i am done relying on guys when all they do is fall through."
"maybe not every guy will fall though. im not looking for anything more than cheering up that face of yours and brightening those shattered eyes."
"then grab a drink, speak up all of your lies and i will work on soaking them in"
"oh babe. you will have to do better than that. lets go for a walk"
and the two new friends walked away, destined to care for each other and finish the fairy tale they know that they have started.

do you ever wonder who wrote our love story?
which one of us decided to pick up the pen
and share everything we ever felt,
everything we ever sought after
and everything we ever needed.
which one of us first believed in destiny,
first beleived in love.
which one of us found the knife to stab our hearts.
which one of us lost everything.
which one of us ruined our happiness?
do u ever wonder what life will be like without the pain,
without the torture?
but mainly without the love?

love can make you go numb and feel absolutely nothing.
love can do that to you.
its as though you've drowned from the pain.
everything around you starts to blur.
nothing is importnat excepting finding that air
that you now know you are missing.
you dont know which way is up or which way is right.
and the hardest part is that you dont know
if you will ever find what you are newly lacking.

she was always a daydreamer.
all she wanted was love.
all she wanted was her faitytale.
do you realize you broke her?
not her will,
not her smile,
not her heart.
but everything she ever stood for.
everything she always beleived in.
you've made her lose herself.

love is about accepting flaws
and fighting through the unjusticeds together.
she could never do that for you.
its not that you werent worth that to her.
its not that she didnt want to try.
its just that shed always felt like she should be worth more.


and here she goes writing
bout the "would be" marriages and unspoken lies.
the way you held her in your arms
as you scream at night.
she will never know that u dont believe it.
she will never know the true you.
because u cant go back to that person.
not when you have so much to lose.
not when youre not worth it.
not when she's not worth anymore.
so keep feeding her the lies.
becuase thats the only way her heart can soar.
i know that they are lies.
i know you cant do believer what you lose.
i know you wont ever love her.
but more than anything, i know you know that too.
one day she will realize where your heart lies
and where your ideals are actually based
cant say i didnt warn you
that she will cry from all that she is faced

you want to be friends.
you want an "eventual" happy ever after.
as much as i want that
as much as i know i need that
i am not so sure that u can supply it.
because you have lost me
where my love and our time together meant everything to me
your pride and choices meant the world to you
where i chose us
you chose you.
and i refuse to come in second when you say you love me
i refuse to not be the world that you live for.
and without me, your pride and your choices will mean nothing
becuase you will mean nothing.
too bad it will take you years to realize what i have known all along.

she may fall for your family and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
she may try to bring the moon to you and
show u how romantic it can be to dance in the rain.
but you wont forget me.
you wont truly live without me.
but i can live without you.
i can find what i was lacking from u.
u will either come back or someone will be more willing
to be everything you were supposed to be.

and its this life that u chose for yourself.
time after time i chose you.
this time, u chose to walk away
and keep me from mthe happiness that
we used to feel together.
my prince walked out on me.
ive never heard that heartbroken fairytale.