It's another night of hours lost tossing and turning in my bed. Did I get it through to them? Is this enough? What more can I do? The thoughts haunt me. The moments make me tremble. I want to be the difference, and how can I? The stress consumes me, the hours attack me, the anxiety destroys me. Why? Because I stress. About every student I had, every one I have yet to have and every one in my classroom at this very moment. I am really stressed. And I want you, my students, to know why.
Now I need to be honest, I wasn't the first one to write this paper and in every way, I hope I am not the last. But this is my voice, my story, my pain and I want you to know why. I want you, to know the truth. The truth you may never hear again.
This is what you, my students, really need to hear:
One of the most important things you need to know is that I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than you care about yourself. And if I am really being honest, I will tell you that I don't care about your grades, I don't care about your tests, and I certainly don't care about what the state THINKS you need to learn. I care about you. I care about your lost teeth and the way you fought with your mother to wear your favorite shirt this morning. I care about the way you smile when you tell me about your first sleep over and the way you worry about every test. I care about you and your likes and your dislikes and I care about who you are.
So here's what you need to know, the truth that every adult thinks that they have the right to keep from you. Because we know better, because we hold the keys to success and we want you to find them. But if the answers are out there, why don't we just tell you? Well, if you really want to know, I will tell you.
I do more than show up to class with a smile on my face. I do more than work from sun up to sun down because I want to. I lose sleep almost every night because of you. And more than that, I do it time and time again for you. And I think I always will.
I do it because I want you to learn. That's a teacher's job after all isn't it? But I want you to learn more than just time and subtraction. I want you to learn more than capital letters and punctuation. I want you to learn more than who Columbus was and how America got started.
I want you to learn how to push yourself. I don't care about time or money or spelling words. I don't care about plants or explorers. My goal, every second of every day is to watch you push yourself. It isn't about how hard I can push you. It isn't about what your parents make you do. It is about you and what you want to do yourself.
And sometimes, students don't want to do anything themselves. They don't fail with bad grades or low test scores. They fail by forgetting to try when life gets tough, they fail by doing nothing when they had the chance to do something!
After all, life will always get tough. Sadly, that's a truth too. It will be hard and it will be painful. Life will bring sadness, pain, anger and frustration. But it will be oh so good and worth it. It WILL be harder than this.
But with the right practice now and every day from here at school and at home and wherever you are. You will be able to overcome it every time you are against it.
But there are things you will have to learn, things I will do my best to teach you every day. You need to learn how to push yourself when you think you can't do it, practice until you can't stomach another problem and do 100 more. You need to push and push and push yourself to get along with teachers and friends when you don't want to. You need to learn to put on a happy face when ALL you do want to do is to scream, or cry or throw something. You need to learn to go to school when you don't feel like it, write until your hand falls off when you don't want to, and be on time when you just want to sleep. You need to learn how to be polite, respectful and YOU need to learn to stand up to all the problems in your life and push hard in overcoming them.
You need to take charge of yourself when you don't want to do something because that is how you succeed. In school, in life, at home, at work, at play: It doesn't matter. Sometimes it NEEDS to hurt, it NEEDS to be hard so you can find the greater good. And that greater good is you and what you can do and what you will do when you try.
But its your choice: You will either stand up or fall down. And every day you live you will be faced with choices that aren't always your favorite. But you can't whine, or throw a tantrum, or say NO! You need to make the choice that makes the next battle easier. You need to make the choice that makes YOU better.
And that choice should be to try hard. Push yourself harder and believe you are worth it. Don't give up. Because if you want to succeed in life, you need to try HARD at everything you never wanted to do and at everything you want to do.
And guess what? Every single day that I am in your life, I am going to do everything in my power to show you that I care about you. That I believe in you and that I know you can do it. Even when you don't believe it yourself. And the days you fail, the days you quit. I will be there that day and the one after and I will STILL believe in you, I will still care about you and I will still be there waiting with a smile, with some help and with a new start. Because you are worth it to believe in.
So do yourself a favor and stop making excuses, stop pouting, stop blaming, stop thinking education is about the numbers and letters and exercises in front of you. And believe me when I tell you the truth people may never tell you again, Life is hard. Problems are endless. You are worth it. And You can do it today and every day for the rest of your lives. Because your life, your future is worth every effort. You are worth it.
So don't quit. Try harder. Because I know it is in you.
